Uncontrollable

by Veruschka

Uncontrollable   It is a closet, called the “world we fit in” Dark enough to hide you from the light found within, You are alone when you count your scars, but if the world calls, you are ready to mask, we are afraid to be God’s light Because the dark makes a good secret hiding spot and it feels comfy aright. So, we stay pretending Instagram is kicking Life is going well I wish I could film it… I’m partly Christian another half is sinning I know God is okay with it if I pray only ones on Sunday to show my side of religious commitment. I’m made in God’s image but the mirror is my only opposition. The world is calling, can I borrow your mirror with your reflection in it? My soul is convicted By religion Is It wrong if I stick with Jesus but at the same time I don’t keep his commandments? Or perhaps the depth of fears in me distracts me from being me and obeying. I don’t know maybe if I could write to them, everything would be okay and momma and I would be together. How do I Commence? Dear Migrant officers or perhaps they discard the matter to be classified as migrant officers, what do I do? I am not good with words but oh well here we go I write this letter to speak for our hearts I write it with tears in my eyes because,  despite everything, I know that it will not erase our fears and distress I write this letter to remind us how beautiful it is when we love each other Please received it from the heart of a young immigrant girl in despair I hope my letter paints a rainbow of pictures And colours with little sweetness. Lives are forcibly lost to a stigma,  that degrades and humiliation the exhalation  of an immigrant child The silence was my only weapon of choice but this time my pain refused to be silent It hurts to see how much we tear each other just to protect the same rights we refused to preserve, yet, we are made of the same flesh I think of the time we had peace as a common desire Indeed, mum no longer smiles sadness rested on her cheeks She pays attention to the passage of time because she knows that at any time A letter will come from immigration, to remind her that she is a stranger in a strange nation. Young immigrant permanently hiding from what seems the iron loses the spear Young immigrant longing for acceptance and happiness, But it seems like no one understands and cares. Between the world and myself, I\'ve built up a wall, A young vibrant immigrant simply trapped, a prisoner of despair? I don\'t know what\'s going on here, too many versions too many colours, too many shades During the day I hide from the light and the sun I saw children cry with pain that shouldn\'t be theirs, wondering why hope was late whilst they were on time Who says love and pain should always go hand in hand?  If we want love to reign right here why do we let our hearts beat backwards I wish I could forget... Forget all the tears and pain, Forget all the hurt and shame, Forget all the things of my past, Because like most, they didn\'t last.

Veruschka

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