PTSD, the ripple effect, again and again
I relive my pain everyday
Every quiet moment again and again and again
It comes to haunt me
I lay in my bed wide awake because I am stuck in a dream I can't escape
As my scary thoughts just grows bigger, my memories now come rushing back
All of my conscience just goes black
I scream within myself
The tears I can't hold back just trickles down with my internal pain.
At times, I feel so ashamed it comes to haunt me again and again.
I sit up and wonder what it truly feels to be happy
to smile once without faking
to not just want to cry all of the time
to know what is like to be hopeful
to live in the now and not in the past again and again
to have a future dream
to see myself happy and truly be happy and not just like a blank screen
to have someone who understands me
to be free from my own mind
to not have this pain I carry everyday
again and again.